Me: *follows really amazing blog

Really amazing blog: *follows me back*

Me: oh nooooo

Me: OH NOOOO

Me: WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?!? I HAVE TO KEEP THEM ENTERTAINED

Me: *blush* ohhhh gods,

Me: oh goooods noooo

Really amazing blog: *reblogs my post*

Me: ...

Me: ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW, MOM?

'Coming out'

Daughter: Dad, I have been waiting for the right moment to tell you that I am a lesbian. It is very difficult for me to tell you something like this, so I hope you understand and don't get mad. *makes cute face*

Dad: It's okay honey. I love you.

Second daughter: I'm a lesbian too.

Dad: Jesus Christ! None of my kids likes boys?

Son: I do.